all i want

I used to be angry.

Angry that the plans for my future with my best friend, together forever, was no longer a possiblilty. Angry that I was no longer going to live happily ever after with him. Angry that I am now alone and more vulnerable than ever. Angry that whatever I do, I cannot shake the physical, mental and emotional hurt I have been dealing with for the past month. Angry that everytime I try to open my mouth to speak, it hurts so bad I have to cry. Angry that everything reminds me of him. Angry that my life is going NO WHERE.

Until now.

I was blessed to be called his for such a short period of time. I have learned so much about myself and how to be more Christ-like through the examples Chaseton had shown me, every single minute I was by his side. I am so grateful that I was able to have him in my life. There were days I couldn't believe that such a wonderful man could have ever fallin for such a simple girl like me. So I thank Heavenly Father for blessing me with Chaseton walking into my life for that short moment, for the opportunity to be with him, to learn from him and to love him.

I am still hurting. "A broken heart will only mend with time"   is what I've been told. But I know a broken heart cannot mend completely. There will always be a piece missing. A piece taken by the one that stole your heart in the first place. They will take it and no matter how hard you try to get it back or try to replace it with something else, it will always be theirs.

I am still hurting but I am not angry. Although I cannot live happily ever after with my best friend, I know that he will find someone who can. Someone who is beautiful in every way, who will make him happier than I ever could and who is worthy enough to be his.

And that is why I am not angry.

He will be happy and that's all I want.